Burden.

Simple word, heavy load.

Secrets and confidences.

I have recently discovered that in the realm of relationships how unfair it is for me to 'tell someone a secret' - for them "not" to tell anyone else.  That, I realize, is a burden that should never be put upon anyone else. 

To share unwanted, unneeded and unnecessary gossip is unfair to my friends.

When I choose to 'share' these burdens I am weighing them down.

It usually starts with me or someone else telling of some unnecessary criticism of a mutual friend.
Baiting.  Baiting us to jump into the gossip pool.  I swim in this pool quite often. Most of the time I am am endlessly treading, desperately trying to keep my head above water.

I have a small clipping posted on my refrigerator.  The Golden Gates- three things to ponder before words leave my mouth:

1.  Is it kind?
2.  Is it necessary?
3.  What will it accomplish?

Unless it is kind and uplifting, I should just keep my mouth shut.  Why is that so difficult?
It's a quality that I admire most in my husband and children... they are not prone to gossip and I have learned so much from their example.

Maybe that is why when cruel words tumble from my mouth I am filled with guilt.  Oh, yes... my wonderful conscience... always following me around, tugging at my heels.

The best way, I have learned, is to ignore unkind words and comments.  Sometimes I simply do not respond.  Other times I just change the subject.  And when I am weak, I join in the ugliness and come out feeling dirty.

Silence is golden.  Enough said.