Strength.

I went to a Lenten retreat a couple of weeks ago and Pastor had several stations set up for personal mediation.

When I read through the list, the one on forgiveness jumped out at me; and I thought—I am gonna have to spend a lot of time in THAT room!

There was a basin of water in that room with a bowl of smooth rocks and a cup of washable markers.  We were to write the name(s) of someone who we needed to give forgiveness to.  The exercise was to write the name, hold the rock in the palm of your hand and pray.  It seemed that I spent an eternity in that room.  I had written the initials of people on my rock… then when I went to wash off the letters (symbolic of forgiveness washing away the offense), wouldn’t you know— those letters didn’t wash off all the way.

Just how figurative is that?  I scrubbed and rubbed and those darn letters faded, but the remnants of the initials are still imbedded in that rock.  Shows me that I have some personal housekeeping to take care of; I need to get the Comet out and do some deep cleaning of my soul.

I brought that rock home and it now sits on my shelf where my radio is, so every day I have to look at that rock.  A rock that has been smoothed and polished by the ages, yet crevices still remain that trap the ‘dirt’ of its journey.  Yep, I have some scouring to do.

The last station I went to was to represent the bond that God holds in our lives.  There were three narrow strips of fabric that represented me, someone I had conflict with, and God.  We were to braid the strips together.

I bawled like a baby.  I was filled with remorse and sadness at my failure to find forgiveness with my friend.  It had been about a month since ‘The Offense’.  Small, simple little words from someone I love dearly… my sister in Christ.  Words that cut through me like a knife.  Words that she needed to say because of where she was in her life.  Words that she used to bring me back to humbleness to remind me that I had neglected her.  I had not taken out my jewel of a friend and had not cherished and polished her up and forgotten to place her on my shelf to shine.  I had neglected my friend. I had ignored her in a time of my selfishness.  I had sinned, but I was so selfish that I couldn’t see that.

She is such a dear friend and it has been an awkward journey.  We are working at rebuilding our friendship and its going amazingly well.  I am proud of her, she has made some remarkable changes and I hope I have, also.  She has carried me through some of my darkest hours and heaviest burdens.  Some events that have happened this past week in each of our lives have caused us to remember just how much we need each other.  I need her and she needs me.

Someone needs me. 

She needs me.  Our lives for the past years are braided together with the strength of God. 

While I was braiding my strips, my mind was on her.  Those strips were perfectly cut; but even in that perfection the ends were frayed and beginning to unravel.  The more I twisted and turned, the more fraying I caused.  But in the miracle of the intervention of The Holy Spirit, those strips were braided into something so strong that will support any burden that my friend and I encounter during this journey of life.  A life which is half over and gets shorter with every passing day.  I don’t want to waste one single moment on small things; on the loose threads that we can pluck off and throw away.  I choose to focus on the bond that holds us together.

I have cried for the past months over the distance that has grown between us; but that chasm has closed over time.  “Time heals all wounds.” Powerful words for an abundant and unbreakable friendship.

So, today, my friend… this is for you.  Because you are special; you shine, girlfriend, and I love you.